Who's Who in Blogs

I've never found myself wishing that Rob Anders had a blog before - but he'd make a perfect Hannibal Lecter after his handlers strap him to a dolly with that plastic shield over his mouth. Oh well, still lots to choose from. Canada's Debate asks which bloggers remind of us of which fictional characters. I know, I know, you think I'm just exactly like Superman... I get it all the time, thanks - really. Never one to turn down a procrastinating exercise in fun - a two-fer if one ever existed - I was all over it like an iSkin over a Mac keyboard.


Liblogs
Technologically inter-linked into one hive mentality; "ASSIMILATE OR DIE!!!", defeated after they fall asleep while completing their takeover of Earth - this one's a no-brainer:







Borg Cube all the way.


Blogging Tories
Stay sharp! It's the Borg Sphere!

The exact same "Assimilate or be destroyed!" herd mentality, but bigger, with more advanced technology, and more menacing.















Blogging Dippers
They think everyone else is unbearably ugly, can't bear to associate with anyone unlike themselves, too ideological and pre-occupied with fighting amongst themselves over who is most ideological - they sound tantalizingly like the Ferengi, but for their fear and loathing of wealth.... so I'm gonna have to run with the always-useful Red Shirts - Lieutenants Adams, Beaton, Colby, Darnell, Erie, Fallon, Golding, Hooper, Ilton, Jones, Kurt, Latimer, Morton, Norris, O'Hara, Pitt, Quinn, Radstake, Smith, Tanner, Unsworth, Xavier, Yan, and Zetter. Thanks guys, for always taking one for the team!

Calgary Grit is easy - private, not prone to chitchat, work focused, absorbed in study, collects opinions in roundtable discussion. Prefers diplomacy to fighting, and shields to attacking. A good bet to be an Ambassador in the future. Who is he? Pick a card - any card. Even the Captain Picard.

Careful, he's linked to the Borg! But ultimately, he's better than them.


ChuckerCanuck - a highly trained and skilled engineer, full of hearty bluster, good cheer, and humour, and his travels carry him far. Loyal at all costs, he's there with all the defence and offence any leader could ever hope for. As long as Chucker has a pack of gum and two sticks to rub together, his Supreme Leader knows someone's got his back. Oh, and he's played by a Canadian.


Olaf Raskolnikov
This one was hard, but I think I finally nailed it. He's a two-parter, a yin and yang, a perfect balance of Lisa's devotion to study and education and Bart's temper and schoolyard fun. My pet monkey suggested "Bisa", but I'm going with "Lart".





Paul Wells? Just Lisa - with the money for an iPod.





Sheena
Sexy sophisticated globe-trotting Canadian flirt with a taste for the finer things in life (including men) and a clever riposte always lurking on her tongue - no one should be surprised when I nominate her to be Miss Moneypenny. ROWR!

Joanne of Joanne And The World:
Thinks she's an esteemed politician but has no comprehension of military matters, people avoid her, loud and over-bearing but genuinely cares. Combined with increasing desperation to remind everyone how young she is, Joanne is clearly... Lwaxanna Troi

And Liberal Catnip is Deanna Troi.


Personally Penny - dead sexy, fun and sassy, but get the fuck out of the way if you want to cross swords with her. Amazing smile, studies hard on issues, loves the environment, likes to learn about the law - this one is almost too easy to bother with.... she's the Julia Roberts incarnation of Erin Brockovich.



Big City Lib
Shrieky, from Care Bears.






Scott Tribe is Martha, as portrayed by Elizabeth Taylor, in Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Shoshana B/rainy Smurf









The Frog Lady always reminds me of Toad from X-Men - but nice.

Controversy of the Week Special!
Robert McClelland is Regan MacNeil. Playing with ideas they shouldn't have touched, now they're doubled-over in painfully contorted positions, heads on backwards, fitfully raging and frothing with curses - and spraying vomit over any who dare challenge. Oh, and they're not much for God's Chosen People, either. Where are you, Father Karras, when we need you?

Jason Cherniak... almost too easy... but alright - he is of course the Black Knight.

ARTHUR:
Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Yes, I have.



Kate MacMillan
Her interest in mechanics and attempts to convince people she is human qualify her to play Lt. Cmdr. Data -- but he always tells the truth, and makes a constant effort to be diplomatic and kind. So his evil twin Lore makes a perfect substitute - good with numbers, and gives the Borg a false sense of individuality with which to manipulate them. Be warned - Lore is not known to have Data's off-switch.

Fond of wearing leather, can't get enough of the spotlight, despises authority, environmentally conscious and vocal, uses a sledgehammer when a love-tap would do - you can never be sure who's side he's playing on, though you always know it's in his own best interest... Michelle Pfeiffer owns Catwoman, but if Halle Berry can strap on the whip, Garth Turner can suit up for a bit.


Jacobin
Runs around in circles desperately linking to mainframes anywhere he can find them. And seriously, can ANYone understand what the fuck he's talking about? Ever?



Red Butler

Like the robot shark they used to make JAWS, he can only turn left.

Just kidding man, you know I love ya, big red ;)

80's Girls Gone Wild
JoanneTB - sword at the ready, this is a blogger who won't back down, ever - She-Ra for sure. Candace loves a good laugh, enjoys children, and likes to listen and share, she's open-minded, and most of all, she always looks on the bright side: she reminds me of Rainbow Brite, and Paladiea seems at home in the forest, and she's something of a fruit, really, so Strawberry Shortcake she is. They probably deserve better than this picture, but seriously, does it get any better than this picture?

Steve Janke - none other than Mycroft Holmes: Sherlock Holme's older, smarter, lazier brother. He knows everything, or can find it out, but, like any true blogger, he doesn't like to leave the house very often. Prefers to focus on government work.

Pierre Bourque
He likes fast cars, hanging out in fancy restaurants to spy on conversations, and most of all, knows the power of paid endorsements and product placement. Hm, ring any bells?


Springer: Pick a Charlton Heston character. Any Charlton Heston character.


Thou gorbellied crook-pated canker-blossom! Qualling milk-livered miscreant! Rank rutting reeky rogue! Lumpish impertinent fawning logger-headed fat-kidneyed doghearted hell-hated pox-marked dankish F-word (that's "fustilarian", by the way) toad! Snippy enough to be gay, yet married with children, Fan of the Great Insult Red Tory is Wm. Shakespeare - not a fictional character, granted... or was he???


Formerly the most powerful lawyer in Gotham City, he met a horrible fate at the hands of a conniving and backstabbing bigwig looking to get even. Now a twisted and bitter arch-nemesis of decency, you never know when he'll strike next, or who he'll move against. Heads you live - tails you die - it's all just a whim to him, a casual toss of the coin. Warren Kinsella is Harvey "Two-Face" Dent.



Stephen Taylor guest stars in Stranger than Fiction. "One day, Harold suddenly started hearing a powerful voice that no one else could, which started to tell him what to do." Just kiddin' ya, ST. ;)


Who said democracy would be easy? Pogge reminds me of the Rebel Alliance - they're taking the Death Star down, baby, even if they have to do it twice!




Richard McAdam: lives on the ocean, was once a Liberal but bargained to sell his soul to become a Tory - and got his wish. Now, he's celebrating true love. He's The Little Mermaid!


Joe Green - does he even exist? It's a never ending debate - he's Mr. Snuffleupagus.


Ready to lead a full rebellion against the central Empire to create a free and democratic Republic, fair to all outlying regions, Joe Calgary's got heavy organization skills and the financial backing to put them to use. No time for bullshit, and knows his way around a gun, Joe is Princess Leia.

James Bow: crazy little thing called love, for trains. And rails. And train stations. Childlike, but not childish, earnest and with an imagination beyond compare, he enjoys science-fiction and fantasy. He's Canadian and loves to entertain kids with stories - tell me he doesn't just scream Simon from The Secret Railroad.

Because he does.


Greg Staples - Conservative - but, not evil. Always fair and honest with you, reasonable, prefers debate to argument. Capable and efficient, always knows his stuff, always prepared, he's a devoted family man, and so freaking nice. Michael Bluth.