Looney Tunes and the Throne Speech

Dion will support it, or at least not cause it to fall. Not because he's a wimp, but because he's smart. He knows the important wisdom of Bugs Bunny: Live to fight another day. He couldn't be worse off right now, so if he stays afloat, there can only be smoother sailing ahead.

Garland on Cherniak on Politics

Jason Cherniak's latest, most inspirational post has prompted my dear friend Judy Garland to record this rendition of "Battle Hymn of the Republic" in tribute to his devotion and dedication in the face of perseverance.



You tell him, Judy!

Question a Senator, get tasered!

The freedom to speak inoffensively is a freedom not worth having.


He's an agitator and kind of a dick, as you can see in the full video below, but that's the price of freedom and free speech. I had no idea police used tasers against unarmed citizens until this year, and this truly sickens me. Oh, and John Kerry is a real class act to drone on and on and on while a student is tasered right before him. No wonder he conceded... in a way, he answers the guy's question.

The Clue on Faye Turney

Green's Clues own version of The View hosts roundtable discussions on popular topics of the day. This morning, the Faye Turney question is tackled by Wonder Woman, Dr. Beverly Crusher, Catwoman, and The Rawhide Kid.

Controversial for appearing in Islamic garb and writing letters home which she now says were coerced, Faye Turney, sailor in the Royal Navy, held hostage in Iran, is our focus today on The Clue. Catwoman?


This "woman" is an insult to feminism. Back in the 60s, we weren't running around demanding equal rights with special exceptions - that's not 'equal'. So Turney was afraid she'd never see her little girl again - are we supposed to be extra sympathetic to her? Moreso than if she were a man who might never see his child again? She's a mother, but that's no different than being a father in the service.

I have to agree with Catwoman. As a homosexual, I believe that when American gays fought for the right to join the military, they were seeking the right to fight for and die for their country, not the right to look cool in a uniform and learn how to use fancy technology. If you're gay and in the service, you're expected to not collaborate with the enemy. The same standard should apply across the board - men, women, parent or not.

Faye Turney is a member of the military. No one is suggesting that it's a life for everyone - it's not. When you sign up, you're no longer a civilian. I myself am a mother, and it's tough, but it's the life you choose.


Now would anyone agree that the problem isn't Faye Turney, but rather, as Catwoman earlier touched on, with feminism itself? Are women expecting more than equal rights and privileges? That we can, as an example, still reserve the right to grab all the lifeboats on the Titanic, even though we're no longer the defenceless and dependent females of that era? Has feminism in the 21st Century decided that we're not -

You're making my head spin here, sister. But if you want to talk feminism, fine: Where does this chick get off letting some fanatical piece of shit fundamentalist jack-off dress her in "modest" Islamic garb? Any of those fucks come anywhere near me with a hijab or a chador, I'll show them their clawed-off balls right before I shove 'em down their throats.

Goodness! I'm not sure that's the approach I'd take, Selina, but I certainly would absolutely refuse to be dressed that way. I'd have to be restrained - or see my friends in danger's way before I'd agree to do so willingly. And I'd specify that I wasn't doing so willingly, of course.

But let's not let the men off here, either. No way in hell I'd walk onto a camera dressed up as President I'madinnerjacket. How can 15 UK sailors and Marines not have the brains and wherewithal to rip those jackets, and that headscarf, off as they strode out? And waving and grinning like that, after allowing themselves to be so humiliated? Ugh.

Like I always say, "You know what I hate about men?"




"I've never met one!" High-five, girlfriend!




I'm sorry to hear that, because there are some out there. You know, I was also disappointed in Turney's letters home. No one could ever intimidate me into writing such a thing. Beat or torture me into it? - absolutely, I'm only human. But if Turney wants us to believe that we'd all be so easily intimated, then I'm afraid she's on some very thin ice.

My favourite part was when she begged for mercy pleading that she "felt like a traitor". Um, hello - you fucking are a traitor, bitch!



Ding ding ding! I think we have a winning answer!




But I think it's easy, isn't it, to imagine our own mothers, or sisters, or for that matter, our brothers or fathers, being so easily intimidated, no?



Yes, but Diana, remember - you're not talking about soldiers. Faye Turney and her weak-kneed crewmates are not civilians - they're in the army now. Most nations would expect immensely better of their men and women in uniform. Faye Turney and the 14 men with her don't deserve the gratitude and appreciation of their countrymen. And countrywomen.

Well now, good Doctor, you raise a question. Would American sailors and Marines buckle this easily? Does the UK actually give gratitude and appreciation of their ladies and gents in uniform, compared to the USA? Are their armed forces held to an invisible and intangible lower standard by default of the public not caring as much? These men and this women seem to sense that it's okay, that people will understand. I'm not sure that American soldiers would ever feel anyone back home would "understand".

I can tell you for damn sure, Rawhide, that a certain Islamic Republic wouldn't understand if their men and women behaved like this. In other words, in a showdown in the street brawl, with sticks and shovels, between Great Britain and Iran, guess which side would win?

Okay, well - good talk. Any closing thoughts today on Faye Turney?




She doesn't belong in the service, she simply doesn't have what it takes.




Exactly. A fine mother, no doubt, with skills and talents NOT suited to the Navy.





She can suck my dick, she and all her "team".

Stephen and Danny, sitting in a tree...

INT. UNDERGROUND CPC HEADQUARTERS

"We're so close to majority territory, sir!" squeals Jason Kenney, "If we could just get an extra little nudge!"

"I'm already on it," soothes Stephen Harper, handing his favourite kitten to Kenney, "I'll be taking the jet - you're in charge of Howard Roark."

EXT. A TROPICAL BEACH

(Secretly, Stephen Harper has already taken Turks and Caicos into the fold!)

"I dunno," mutters Danny Williams, squinting in the sunlight. "Basic'lly, yer askin me to make a complete and utter ass-clown of myself, and do Newfoundlanders no favours, either. Besides, no one'd even b'lieve I was that upset over the budget."

"Trust me," smiles Stephen, sunbeams bouncing off the shiny jet parked in the sand behind him, "People will believe anything from you! Danny, this could really help the Tories get a significant bounce in voter support."

"I would like to help ya out, Mister Harper, I just don't know...."

"Oh, incidentally, have you had a chance to see some of the local flora?" inquires Stephen, his fingers brushing a large frond in a veritable wall of vegetation. "Oh my, look what we have here! You'll find this interesting, Danny - it's where Conservative loyalists go when they 'die'." Stephen brushes the leaf back, and Danny gasps.

"Is that Frank Sinatra?!"

"You bet your bippy it is, Danny Boy. And guess what - he's playing your song, every single night."

The modern woman's adventures in T.O.

My professional neighbour Gallery drops by to help herself to some of the chocolate chip cookie dough I'm batching up while Walworf cuts his toenails at the kitchen table.

Gallery: I saw the biggest asshole on the subway today.
Walworf: Boss HarperCon?
Gallery: Strike one, brainiac. Like, Bo, this guy was really cute and stuff, and we were totally looking at each other, and made some eye contact. And then he like just stood there holding the strap, and smiled at me. So I was like, smiling back. And then we just waited, and he got out two stops later. And I was like, "Fuck you, asswipe."
Bo: Huh?
Gallery: Like, what kind of asshole doesn't come over and say hi? We were totally into each other, I would have given him my card - we could have been having coffee tomorrow or this weekend.
Bo: I thought you were a feminist??
Gallery: Of course I'm a feminist!! Why would you even question that?!?!

Separatists say the darnedest things...

"Maybe our rebuild Quebec platform was too radical," he said.
-PQ supporter at Club Soda