Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Meanwhile, underground...

Howard Roark and John Galt, Stephen Harper's favourite kittens, frolic and wrestle at Harper's ankles on the lava-rock floor as Harper calls the secret meeting of the CPC to order around their long, stainless steel table.

"Why don't we just kill Jack Layton?" offers Jason Kenney.

"No, not yet," muses Harper, scratching the ears of Dagny Taggart in his lap. "Martyr-hood would only give him more power..."

"Don't you mean 'some' power," quips Rona Ambrose.

"Hi-five!" snickers Harper, throwing a palm to her.

"It's so funny to see Jack Layton try and act tough!" chortles Peter MacKay, his rubber boots squeaking on the floor. "Trying to act like a real man or something!"

"Hey, how about you give that a shot, Peter?" scoffs Rahim Jaffer, to Jason Kenney's amusement.

"Seriously though," interrupts Rona, "Should we be worried about all this?"

"Well...," ponders Harper, rubbing Dagny Taggart's chin, "An election right now could be in Canada's best interests...."

"WHAT?" exclaims Jason Kenney.

"But sir! The Liberals don't even have a leader! They'd NEVER support Layton in this!"

"Exactly, Rona! - they'd have to select a leader immediately."

"Ohhhhh," says Rona, suddenly getting it, "Triggering an early end to their 9 month sideshow..."

"I see what you mean by Canada's best interests," muses Jason Kenney.


Blogger Jason Bo Green said...

"Nine months...," says Peter MacKay distantly, "Belinda and I could've had a baby in nine months..."

"Don't you mean 'a whole litter' in nine months?" quips Rona Ambrose.

"NICE ONE!" winks Harper. "But actually, the average gestation for a dog is only 63 days."

"We could have had THREE litters by now!" wails Peter, slumping his head down on the stainless steel tabletop.

Dagny Taggart trots over to nuzzle against Peter's skull.

"It's no use, Dagny Taggart," cries Peter, "No one will ever love me now!"

"Yes," says Rahim Jaffer, "This is true."

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 6:10:00 AM  
Anonymous ruff ruff said...

heh heh

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 6:27:00 AM  
Anonymous norman spector said...

that bitch won't hunt

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 7:06:00 AM  
Blogger Chuckercanuck said...

i love it. i especially love the fact that Jason Kenny is to the PM what Work was to Captain Picard - his first piece of advice is to kill whoever the problem is!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 7:16:00 AM  
Blogger tija said...

You really do like kittens. :D

Who is Dagny Taggart? More Ayn Rand?

I say no to an election right now, we should wait. Please don't kill Jack Layton!!! ;)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 7:18:00 AM  
Blogger Jason Bo Green said...

Chucker, I'm going to make that a running theme, I do believe...

Tija, welcome. DT was the heroine in Atlas Shrugged (but I could have the spelling wrong). I just wanted to balance out the kittens' genders a bit. ;)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 7:46:00 AM  
Blogger SouthernOntarioan said...

Great! But killing Layton would only ensure that Svend Robinson gets leadership...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 9:02:00 AM  
Blogger Olaf said...


I like how Rahim Jaffer chimes in at the end... brilliant. This is best blog post series material...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 12:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

McKay is a sexist pig, read Belind's book and you will be shocked.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 1:39:00 PM  
Blogger Jason Bo Green said...

Seriously, wouldn't Svend be an improvement??? (Wouldn't Brainy Smurf be an improvement?)

Aw shucks, Olaf - I'm not brilliant, I just channel brilliance really really well..

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 5:29:00 PM  
Blogger Sheena said...

Was Ellis Wyatt a terrorist? WWGWBD? WWDCD? WWDRD?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 6:05:00 PM  
Blogger SouthernOntarioan said...

Svend "I-didn't-mean-to-steal-that-ring" Robinson an improvement???

Okay, well... maybe only slightly. Svend Robinson annoys me to be honest.

But what do I know? I'm a homophobic, racist, anti-women, chauvinistic, NRA-loving, KKKonservative pig.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006 6:59:00 PM  
Blogger Jason Bo Green said...

Dude, if Svend is stealing, doesn't that make him all set to run politics?? It's natural! (Peanut Butter would be an improvement over Layton).

Sheena, Sheena, Shenna... you flummox me. What would Dr Ruth do? Diaz, Cameron? I give up!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 7:35:00 PM  
Blogger SouthernOntarioan said...

Lol.. yeah i know I know.. Layton is pretty bad.

But I mean, you don't have to insult peanut butter by comparing it to him...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 8:27:00 PM  
Blogger Jason Bo Green said...

Maybe that was a little harsh...

Thursday, November 02, 2006 4:46:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home