Meanwhile, underground...
Howard Roark and John Galt, Stephen Harper's favourite kittens, frolic and wrestle at Harper's ankles on the lava-rock floor as Harper calls the secret meeting of the CPC to order around their long, stainless steel table.
"Why don't we just kill Jack Layton?" offers Jason Kenney.
"No, not yet," muses Harper, scratching the ears of Dagny Taggart in his lap. "Martyr-hood would only give him more power..."
"Don't you mean 'some' power," quips Rona Ambrose.
"Hi-five!" snickers Harper, throwing a palm to her.
"It's so funny to see Jack Layton try and act tough!" chortles Peter MacKay, his rubber boots squeaking on the floor. "Trying to act like a real man or something!"
"Hey, how about you give that a shot, Peter?" scoffs Rahim Jaffer, to Jason Kenney's amusement.
"Seriously though," interrupts Rona, "Should we be worried about all this?"
"Well...," ponders Harper, rubbing Dagny Taggart's chin, "An election right now could be in Canada's best interests...."
"WHAT?" exclaims Jason Kenney.
"But sir! The Liberals don't even have a leader! They'd NEVER support Layton in this!"
"Exactly, Rona! - they'd have to select a leader immediately."
"Ohhhhh," says Rona, suddenly getting it, "Triggering an early end to their 9 month sideshow..."
"I see what you mean by Canada's best interests," muses Jason Kenney.
"Why don't we just kill Jack Layton?" offers Jason Kenney.
"No, not yet," muses Harper, scratching the ears of Dagny Taggart in his lap. "Martyr-hood would only give him more power..."
"Don't you mean 'some' power," quips Rona Ambrose.
"Hi-five!" snickers Harper, throwing a palm to her.
"It's so funny to see Jack Layton try and act tough!" chortles Peter MacKay, his rubber boots squeaking on the floor. "Trying to act like a real man or something!"
"Hey, how about you give that a shot, Peter?" scoffs Rahim Jaffer, to Jason Kenney's amusement.
"Seriously though," interrupts Rona, "Should we be worried about all this?"
"Well...," ponders Harper, rubbing Dagny Taggart's chin, "An election right now could be in Canada's best interests...."
"WHAT?" exclaims Jason Kenney.
"But sir! The Liberals don't even have a leader! They'd NEVER support Layton in this!"
"Exactly, Rona! - they'd have to select a leader immediately."
"Ohhhhh," says Rona, suddenly getting it, "Triggering an early end to their 9 month sideshow..."
"I see what you mean by Canada's best interests," muses Jason Kenney.
posted by Jacques Beau Vert at 5:33 AM
15 Comments:
"Nine months...," says Peter MacKay distantly, "Belinda and I could've had a baby in nine months..."
"Don't you mean 'a whole litter' in nine months?" quips Rona Ambrose.
"NICE ONE!" winks Harper. "But actually, the average gestation for a dog is only 63 days."
"We could have had THREE litters by now!" wails Peter, slumping his head down on the stainless steel tabletop.
Dagny Taggart trots over to nuzzle against Peter's skull.
"It's no use, Dagny Taggart," cries Peter, "No one will ever love me now!"
"Yes," says Rahim Jaffer, "This is true."
heh heh
that bitch won't hunt
i love it. i especially love the fact that Jason Kenny is to the PM what Work was to Captain Picard - his first piece of advice is to kill whoever the problem is!
You really do like kittens. :D
Who is Dagny Taggart? More Ayn Rand?
I say no to an election right now, we should wait. Please don't kill Jack Layton!!! ;)
Chucker, I'm going to make that a running theme, I do believe...
Tija, welcome. DT was the heroine in Atlas Shrugged (but I could have the spelling wrong). I just wanted to balance out the kittens' genders a bit. ;)
Great! But killing Layton would only ensure that Svend Robinson gets leadership...
Hahaha,
I like how Rahim Jaffer chimes in at the end... brilliant. This is best blog post series material...
McKay is a sexist pig, read Belind's book and you will be shocked.
Seriously, wouldn't Svend be an improvement??? (Wouldn't Brainy Smurf be an improvement?)
Aw shucks, Olaf - I'm not brilliant, I just channel brilliance really really well..
Was Ellis Wyatt a terrorist? WWGWBD? WWDCD? WWDRD?
Svend "I-didn't-mean-to-steal-that-ring" Robinson an improvement???
Okay, well... maybe only slightly. Svend Robinson annoys me to be honest.
But what do I know? I'm a homophobic, racist, anti-women, chauvinistic, NRA-loving, KKKonservative pig.
=P
Dude, if Svend is stealing, doesn't that make him all set to run politics?? It's natural! (Peanut Butter would be an improvement over Layton).
Sheena, Sheena, Shenna... you flummox me. What would Dr Ruth do? Diaz, Cameron? I give up!
Lol.. yeah i know I know.. Layton is pretty bad.
But I mean, you don't have to insult peanut butter by comparing it to him...
Maybe that was a little harsh...
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