Muriel's Wedding
I never much believed that gay marriage was an issue of "human rights" - it's a sign of mission creep for Western rights activists when fighting for the rights of Elton John and David Furnish becomes more focused and intense than tackling female circumcision.
But, I'll say one thing - and it's a big thing. Gay men are, generally speaking, trash - and maybe gay marriage can help remedy that. I know lots of people who do drugs - and no one does drugs like gay men. I know gay men who (routinely) do so much cocaine they need to do Viagra on the side. And frequently add in GHB or tina to the mix. I know an above-average number of gay men who are educated but don't excel in life, a higher-than-normal number who drink to excess, and a whole damn lot who will do anything to get laid - not because they're horndogs, but because it will pick up their self-esteem for a bit. Most gay men live in a state of perpetual adolescence - prom night never happens, so high school never ends. Gay men never need to grow up and become a part of adult society.
It's a constant party, being "mainstream gay" - but there's an unhappiness behind the deep tans and designer T shirts. If finding a solid life partner in a communicative, trusting relationship is encouraged, maybe it can happen more. I don't know, but that's my current thinking.
I don't think it's a human rights issue the way that aboriginal standards of living is a human rights issue, but after years of thinking, I've come to think it's a solution that could help remedy a great deal of problems, without hurting anyone else. I say, let's keep it.
But, I'll say one thing - and it's a big thing. Gay men are, generally speaking, trash - and maybe gay marriage can help remedy that. I know lots of people who do drugs - and no one does drugs like gay men. I know gay men who (routinely) do so much cocaine they need to do Viagra on the side. And frequently add in GHB or tina to the mix. I know an above-average number of gay men who are educated but don't excel in life, a higher-than-normal number who drink to excess, and a whole damn lot who will do anything to get laid - not because they're horndogs, but because it will pick up their self-esteem for a bit. Most gay men live in a state of perpetual adolescence - prom night never happens, so high school never ends. Gay men never need to grow up and become a part of adult society.
It's a constant party, being "mainstream gay" - but there's an unhappiness behind the deep tans and designer T shirts. If finding a solid life partner in a communicative, trusting relationship is encouraged, maybe it can happen more. I don't know, but that's my current thinking.
I don't think it's a human rights issue the way that aboriginal standards of living is a human rights issue, but after years of thinking, I've come to think it's a solution that could help remedy a great deal of problems, without hurting anyone else. I say, let's keep it.
posted by Jacques Beau Vert at 6:44 AM
7 Comments:
funny. that's been my thinking too.
over the status quo, I would support SSM not for some great achievement of mankind's quest for rights, but because we are probably better off having the maximum number of people coupled.
i think there's better social stability when couples are the main unit of adult living, vs. singles. just a hunch. so sociology study to prove it.
Most men live in a state of perpetual adolescence. Most men are, generally speaking, trash. (maybe I'm just too young to see it, but most guys seem to be interested in getting laid at all costs).
I don't think marriage is the solution. If a person cannot commit outside a marriage to one other person for their entire life, then it won't work just by adding a 'just married' sticker to their car bumper. The ever-increasing rate of unfaithfulness and divorce demonstrates this.
Personally this is why I don't really care if gays can marry, but I do not agree with it.
Call me a cynic, but I think the entire institution of marriage is a joke and if two people really want to show their love for each other then they shouldn't require government approval.
That's my $0.02 though.
SO - I'm loathe to go on about this because I risk veering into CBC-type pity-talk.
But here goes:
I really believe that most gay men don't have enough love in their lives - they're hungry for it post-childhood, and are too screwed-up to find it. They have real issues. I think (or, maybe, hope) that gay marriage will lead to a day when they feel more normalized, and don't need to party all the time to forget their woes, but can deal with them like adults and contribute to society as full participants.
Herb - HA! Good one.
Chuckster - I agree with ya.
southerontario,
i agree too - marriage is a joke nowadays. if we ban gay marriage, we should ban celebrity marraige as well.
And neither has anything to do with my or your marriage Charles...
I know what you mean JBG, I'm just saying, many straight men are just as screwed up and I don't think marriage will solve their problems either.
To be honest, this may sound wrong, but the AIDS virus was probably the best thing to happen to the gay community. It forced the community to stop being so promiscuous and start having responsible one-on-one relationships.
It has had a similar 'chilling' effect on the heterosexual community.
Maybe its not all a bad thing?
Actually, I really disagree on AIDS - your point is certainly taken, but I do think that this is an interesting generation of gay men -- I can't think of another generation of anyone who has grown up with all (read: most of) their elders deceased. The people who should be passing torches on all died and never got to meet the next ones to pass anything on to.
Also, while I think you may be right (I can't say precisely) that AIDS stopped the party in the 80s, it is back up and running in full swing. Add in moronic social workers excusing unsafe sex by explaining it away as ("completely understandable") "condom fatigue", poor community "leaders" who fight against safe-sex campaigns because they are "fear-based", and - I don't know what my point is or how I was going to end that sentence. Whoops....
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