Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Clue on Faye Turney

Green's Clues own version of The View hosts roundtable discussions on popular topics of the day. This morning, the Faye Turney question is tackled by Wonder Woman, Dr. Beverly Crusher, Catwoman, and The Rawhide Kid.

Controversial for appearing in Islamic garb and writing letters home which she now says were coerced, Faye Turney, sailor in the Royal Navy, held hostage in Iran, is our focus today on The Clue. Catwoman?

This "woman" is an insult to feminism. Back in the 60s, we weren't running around demanding equal rights with special exceptions - that's not 'equal'. So Turney was afraid she'd never see her little girl again - are we supposed to be extra sympathetic to her? Moreso than if she were a man who might never see his child again? She's a mother, but that's no different than being a father in the service.

I have to agree with Catwoman. As a homosexual, I believe that when American gays fought for the right to join the military, they were seeking the right to fight for and die for their country, not the right to look cool in a uniform and learn how to use fancy technology. If you're gay and in the service, you're expected to not collaborate with the enemy. The same standard should apply across the board - men, women, parent or not.

Faye Turney is a member of the military. No one is suggesting that it's a life for everyone - it's not. When you sign up, you're no longer a civilian. I myself am a mother, and it's tough, but it's the life you choose.

Now would anyone agree that the problem isn't Faye Turney, but rather, as Catwoman earlier touched on, with feminism itself? Are women expecting more than equal rights and privileges? That we can, as an example, still reserve the right to grab all the lifeboats on the Titanic, even though we're no longer the defenceless and dependent females of that era? Has feminism in the 21st Century decided that we're not -

You're making my head spin here, sister. But if you want to talk feminism, fine: Where does this chick get off letting some fanatical piece of shit fundamentalist jack-off dress her in "modest" Islamic garb? Any of those fucks come anywhere near me with a hijab or a chador, I'll show them their clawed-off balls right before I shove 'em down their throats.

Goodness! I'm not sure that's the approach I'd take, Selina, but I certainly would absolutely refuse to be dressed that way. I'd have to be restrained - or see my friends in danger's way before I'd agree to do so willingly. And I'd specify that I wasn't doing so willingly, of course.

But let's not let the men off here, either. No way in hell I'd walk onto a camera dressed up as President I'madinnerjacket. How can 15 UK sailors and Marines not have the brains and wherewithal to rip those jackets, and that headscarf, off as they strode out? And waving and grinning like that, after allowing themselves to be so humiliated? Ugh.

Like I always say, "You know what I hate about men?"

"I've never met one!" High-five, girlfriend!

I'm sorry to hear that, because there are some out there. You know, I was also disappointed in Turney's letters home. No one could ever intimidate me into writing such a thing. Beat or torture me into it? - absolutely, I'm only human. But if Turney wants us to believe that we'd all be so easily intimated, then I'm afraid she's on some very thin ice.

My favourite part was when she begged for mercy pleading that she "felt like a traitor". Um, hello - you fucking are a traitor, bitch!

Ding ding ding! I think we have a winning answer!

But I think it's easy, isn't it, to imagine our own mothers, or sisters, or for that matter, our brothers or fathers, being so easily intimidated, no?

Yes, but Diana, remember - you're not talking about soldiers. Faye Turney and her weak-kneed crewmates are not civilians - they're in the army now. Most nations would expect immensely better of their men and women in uniform. Faye Turney and the 14 men with her don't deserve the gratitude and appreciation of their countrymen. And countrywomen.

Well now, good Doctor, you raise a question. Would American sailors and Marines buckle this easily? Does the UK actually give gratitude and appreciation of their ladies and gents in uniform, compared to the USA? Are their armed forces held to an invisible and intangible lower standard by default of the public not caring as much? These men and this women seem to sense that it's okay, that people will understand. I'm not sure that American soldiers would ever feel anyone back home would "understand".

I can tell you for damn sure, Rawhide, that a certain Islamic Republic wouldn't understand if their men and women behaved like this. In other words, in a showdown in the street brawl, with sticks and shovels, between Great Britain and Iran, guess which side would win?

Okay, well - good talk. Any closing thoughts today on Faye Turney?

She doesn't belong in the service, she simply doesn't have what it takes.

Exactly. A fine mother, no doubt, with skills and talents NOT suited to the Navy.

She can suck my dick, she and all her "team".